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When you have just been broken up with your whole world can come crashing down and it feels as though all the hopes and plans that you had for the future with this person were futile. At times it can even feel as though you do not have a future without them. This is a completely natural way to feel during the break up phase, so do not be too hard on yourself.

There is a real similarity between a broken heart after break up and a death. Of course, we all deal with break ups differently, but scientific evidence proves that the same receptors in our brains are activated when we get dumped as when someone dies. Because of this, it is very important that we surround ourselves with people that are positive and who can understand how we feel. It is also a good idea to seek out the advice of experts and friends only tell you things that you do not want to hear and do little to help you in the road to recovery.

Why is it that when someone has dumped you, that they tell you to move on and forget about it? It is not as easy as that. Heart ache is a difficult time in anyone’s life and you cannot just snap out of it like people suggest or expect you to. There is no shame in this at all, so do not put yourself down. People can try to move on too quickly and get into rebound relationships in an attempt to cover up the scars. This spells disaster. Take your time and work out what you want and if you want to wallow in misery for a while, you have every right to.

Probably one of the first thoughts in your mind after a break up is disbelief and shock, especially if it came completely out of the blue. You will also be desperate to change things around and get your ex back again. This is a very common need in people post break up and also a very natural one. However, the desperation and pain that people experience after they have been dumped leads them to do things that they normally would not do if they were in a rational state of mind.

Do You Think That This Behaviour Is Attractive To Your Ex?

Your sense of self respect is crucial after a break up, and something that you should keep at the forefront of your mind. Do not act in a desperate or alarming fashion, give you and your ex some space and do not say anything that you will regret. The best thing to do is remain calm and try to say as little as possible. If you act in an irrational and obsessive way your ex will be worried and hugely wary of you.

Does Your Ex See You In The Same Way?

In case you are wondering, the wrong things for you to do at this time would be to hassle your ex or consistently come up with pitiful excuses to speak to them. It will be very obvious to them if you start to do this and only make you look foolish in their eyes. Coincidentally bumping into them or hanging around where they work or live will also spell disaster for you. You do not want to appear crazy or pathetic in any way to them or they will definitely not want you back or be attracted to you at all. You must work on your self respect after break up to allow your ex to see you in a different light and reconsider their decision.

How Do You Behave Post Break Up To Make Them Want You Back?

It would be a good idea to think back to the period when you and your ex first met. What kind of a person were you then in comparison to how you are now? Think about it carefully. If you know the reasons why your ex was attracted to you initially then you can work on getting them back. You are still the same person as you were back then, you just have to make your ex realise it again. Note down how you felt then, what you said to your ex to make them happy, what you did together, what they said they loved about you. Then work out what went wrong and if the effort you put into the relationship has waned over time.

We all desire what we cannot have, or that which we have to work hard for. When we have to put effort into getting it we end up valuing it a lot more. It is the same with relationships. Have you ever heard of the term ‘playing hard to get?’. This concept is widely used, especially amongst women to pique a man’s interest and make the opposite realise that you are worth the wait or special. In the same way, you should not go crawling to your ex or seem weak, it may seem counter intuitive, but you must make them realise that you are a person of value and that you have a great deal of respect for yourself. If you are not aware of your inherent value as a human being, how will anyone else see it?

What Else Can I Do?

There are a plethora of effective tricks that will give you the upper hand in your attempt to get your ex back, so it is impossible to go into them all in this article. Basically, when you understand exactly how the opposite sex works and how they think post break up, you can drastically change your circumstances and reverse the break up easier than you think. You can learn how to understand body language and read into the things that your ex says that will show you that they are reconsidering their decision. When we become experts in the psychology of the opposite sex, especially when it comes to attraction, we can see huge results.

Want to find out more about how to get your ex back?, then visit our Love Is Hurt site on how to win back your ex successfully, even if it seems as though your situation is hopeless.

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