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The Victor or Victim Syndrome In Life And Learning

There are some people who seem to breeze through life, rejoicing from one triumph to the next. By contrast, there are others who never quite make it, and always have a reason why life has dealt them a hard blow. Society is made up of victors and victims, and the difference can very often be boiled down to one key factor – attitude.

When you move in a new career direction, it’s vital to learn the habits of victors to gain a successful outcome. The victims pursue their actions in a timid manner, hoping for great things, but never really believing they’re worthy of them. Victors commit mentally to a successful result, and use emotion to back their actions.

Imagine two tennis players who’re about to play for a championship. The first says “It’s my final chance – I’ll give it my best shot,” but the second says “Winning is my destiny.” Guess who’ll win the tournament? They may both put in the same practice hours, but the victor spends more time on his mental training to win.

The victim is defined by the word BED – one who stays in bed and gives up. The victor is defined by the word OAR – a figure paddling towards success. BED = Blame, Excuses and Denial. OAR = Ownership, Accountability and Responsibility.

The victor doesn’t expect someone else to lead the way – and takes ownership of his or her tasks. He’s liable for his actions, and so takes them seriously (seeing things through by tackling problems not creating them). He takes responsibility for the results of his actions, and doesn’t allow excuses from himself.

The victim can always come up with a reason for not achieving, and it’s rarely to do with himself. Everything is always somebody else’s fault – he doesn’t feel in control so puts the blame at someone else’s door. He gives excuses for his lack of performance, and doesn’t realise the only person he’s convincing is himself. After repeating this pattern of blame and excuses for a while, the victim is in denial, absolutely convinced that there’s nothing he can do about this situation.

Students about to embark on a life-changing training course should give themselves a mental work-out, to prepare for success. Anybody who relates to the victim mentality will have to look at these issues before they start, to take full advantage of the potential in front of them.

Both sets of attitudes are just habits, and with constant repetition, habits can be changed. Listen to the voice inside your head – if it sounds like a victim, then stop it and verbalise why you can achieve. No one is any better than you – some have just fought their demons and emerged victorious.

To quote Winston Churchill, “There is no such thing as a hero, only those who rise to the occasion”. In learning as well as in life, we must have the attitude of a winner to allow ourselves to become a winner.

(C) 2009. Go to LearningLolly.com for logical tips on MIDI-Vision DSP and MIDI-Vision DSP Training.

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